It’s common to change careers after receiving Namkhas. I’m no exception.
Three big changes usually happen with Namkhas:
◇ Relationships – Negative influences fade.
◇ Occupation – Career shifts.
◇ Living place – A new environment.
Today, let’s talk about career change.
I left behind the artistic career I tried to build since I was 15. Now, I’m starting to write.
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This shift is about deconstructing my false self—the personality built to survive trauma and abuse.
The false self is a mix of traits, behaviors, and self-perception formed to cope in abusive situations. It’s not about being true to yourself but surviving pain and fear.
My upbringing made me believe I wasn’t worthy. I thought I had to be someone else. I tried to be like my older sister, the “good” one, while I was seen as bad—stupid, immature, and incapable.
This led to a painful journey. I tried to become an artist like her. For 10 years, I battled PTSD, depression, seasonal affective disorder, and health issues.
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The false self is born from severe abuse—physical, emotional, and, in my case, sexual.
I was sick during my artistic education and never succeeded. I didn’t like it. But I felt flawed next to my sister, and after so many years, I couldn’t walk away.
Now, I’ve erased everything related to that artistic career. It feels foreign. It wasn’t me, but I didn’t know any other way.
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Now I understand. It was the false self I built to survive.
It’s time to live as I truly am—no hesitation, no pretending, no pain and frustration.